Thursday, October 26, 2006


You know the lecture is going to be perfect when the professor begins by asking you what Gandhi said about Western civilisation.

"Sound like a good idea."

Sunday, October 22, 2006


This is not The Creature's time in the sun, metaphorically speaking. Wealth and health are fine. But where is the love?, I know she is asking. Her heart is in fragments strewn across the world. I am one.

"Come back and make me whole again." she begs.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Remote Control

What could have possibly prompted anyone to do this?

"2) TV Remote - This has also gone missing. I appeal to whoever has the TV remote to please return it to the large TV room within the next 24 hours (again without prejudice). If this does not happen, when cable TV arrives on Friday, I will have to chain the remote to the wall. This is an obvious inconvenience and rather a sad state of affairs, but if necessary I will ensure it is impossible to take the remote. "

(Excerpt from my Hall Committee's email this morning.)

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Strange Cars In Strange Cities

It isn't everyday that you meet an old college friend in a strange city and he says you, "I was just coming down Blackfriars and Batman and Robin asked me whether I'd seen the Batmobile anywhere. So I pointed across the river and they said thank you and walked on... Ok, now how about that overdue coffee?"